This week has had many ups, and some downs too. I've been crazy busy, and have also had lots of time to think. I've been going on walks every night, just me and my music. Ahh, how I love music :)
Some of my highlights this week:
Remember the friendship I lost a few weeks back? Well.... it's on the mend :) So I guess loss wasn't the right word.... temporarily put on hold. I'm not sure what will happen. When you're closer than close to someone, you have great power to hurt them if you choose to. When things are said, and the hurt is there, it's hard to come back.... but I love her, and we know what made our friendship go sour. Changes are happening.
On Wednesday, I was soooo excited to have my sisters come over. I remember when I was younger, Savannah and Morgan and I would have a girls night every once in a while. No parents. Usually just a movie, ice cream, and us talking. It's a little harder to do with the three girls and Lexie, but it's a girls night nonetheless. We played in the pool for most of the afternoon (my neck is still sore from swimming from Brooklyn, Paris, and Liberty hanging onto me while I swam). Since my roommate has been packing up stuff, we had a picnic outside for dinner. Minus my roommate packing, I planned the day pretty well! I miss spending time with my sisters, and it was good to talk to them, and watch my adorable little neice.
My roommate's packing has been pretty fun. I've been preparing to go shopping for all the stuff I'm going to need when she leaves. (Everything in the living room and kitchen belonged to her.) BUT! As she is downsizing, she's leaving A LOT behind. She gave me a bunch of kitchen stuff, the microwave, and is selling me her washer and dryer for CHEAP! I'm soo excited to be in charge of my own place, and to find the roommate I know I'd get along with :P
Due to the fact that most of my friends are out of state, mainly in California (and Wyoming), I have had a lot of thinking and along time to myself. I've made realizations, both good and bad. I've come to realize that some people are VERY good at telling you what you want to hear, even when their actions scream the opposite. I have re-discovered that the true friends are the ones who aren't afraid to call you out on your crap.I don't need people who don't need me.
I am NOT going to change my attitude, my looks, my values, my life... just so other people can approve. I am who I am. This is me :) My name is Jasmine. I go by Jazz, Jazzy, Jazz-Meister, Jazzy-Fizzle... and Kimo Sabe (thanks to Allysa). I love to do things for other people. I am a huge fan of laughing and teasing. FAMILY IS MY LIFE. MUSIC IS MY PASSION, I love to make new friends. I value honesty more than you know. I have an awesome family and great friends. I know I say that a lot, but it's the truth!
This is me. You don't like it? That's OK. There are other people out in the world who match your style. Please move on :)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Thank God For All I Missed... Cause It Led Me Here To This....
I never went to Prom. I never got to go to my High School graduation. I've never been in love.... REAL love (that second grade kiss DOESN'T COUNT). I've never been a part of any sports team. I've never met my biological family. I've never been voted into anything. I've never.........
When you really start to think about it, that list can go on and on and on. It's true, I have missed out on many opportunities and chances in my life. I have been thinking a lot about that lately. All the things I screwed up, the people I hurt, the golden opportunities I skipped out on. Some things were out of my control, but others, no one is to blame but me. I have really been looking at all these missed chances, these sections I feel missing out of my life. But, as I have said before, THANK GOODNESS FOR REALIZATIONS.
I was writing a song (guitar this time people... it's gonna be big.... well, ya know....) and was trying to make it sound like a love song. It got me thinking about love. And, as I haven't really had that chance yet, I started overthinking. Hey, what can I say? I'm a girl???? :) I have loved a lot of people in my short life span. My mom, my dad, my sisters, Allysa and Liz,..... friends and family, along with a few pets and treasured stuffed animals. True, I have yet to be swept off my feet by my prince (haha), or even nudged a little by a cute guy, but there is a lot of love in my life. Given and received.
I have spent too much time focusing on things missing. What about the things already here?! I have an amazing family. Three of my sisters had birthdays this month. Morgan turned 25 (yeah.... old I know :P), Brooklyn turned 8, and little Liberty turned 5. Tomorrow.... well today I guess.... is also Father's Day. A whole day dedicated to celebrating my awesome dad. Yes, I may differ in opinion on some things with my family, but they're still my family.
I have amazing friends, and continue to make more. It's nice having friends I can go grab lunch with during the day.... and friends I can violently slaughter at night..... Ahem. If you don't know what I mean.... just don't worry about it. I talked with Allysa on Skype last night. I thank God for inspiring some individual to come up with that program. I talked with Lissa and her brother and sister. It was so much fun, and made me even more excited to see her next month. I was able to talk with Liz earlier this week, and that was SO fun! I also get to see her next month, and am excited beyond words.
My roommate just informed me that she is moving out this month, and although we have had some good times....umm...yeah.... I am very excited to make this place my own. New furniture, new roommate, new rules. A place that will finally feel like home. PARTY!!!!!! Haha.... no, seriously though, housewarming party in August anyone??? :)
I think sometimes we forget the good things because the bad, or mildly annoying or disappointing things are so much more dramatic. I used the line from the Darius Rucker song for my post title for a reason. I am grateful for things that have happened in the past. They may have sucked at the time, and sucky times may still come, but I have been, and will continue to be shaped by them. They make me ME! And I'm learning to love that!
When you really start to think about it, that list can go on and on and on. It's true, I have missed out on many opportunities and chances in my life. I have been thinking a lot about that lately. All the things I screwed up, the people I hurt, the golden opportunities I skipped out on. Some things were out of my control, but others, no one is to blame but me. I have really been looking at all these missed chances, these sections I feel missing out of my life. But, as I have said before, THANK GOODNESS FOR REALIZATIONS.
I was writing a song (guitar this time people... it's gonna be big.... well, ya know....) and was trying to make it sound like a love song. It got me thinking about love. And, as I haven't really had that chance yet, I started overthinking. Hey, what can I say? I'm a girl???? :) I have loved a lot of people in my short life span. My mom, my dad, my sisters, Allysa and Liz,..... friends and family, along with a few pets and treasured stuffed animals. True, I have yet to be swept off my feet by my prince (haha), or even nudged a little by a cute guy, but there is a lot of love in my life. Given and received.
I have spent too much time focusing on things missing. What about the things already here?! I have an amazing family. Three of my sisters had birthdays this month. Morgan turned 25 (yeah.... old I know :P), Brooklyn turned 8, and little Liberty turned 5. Tomorrow.... well today I guess.... is also Father's Day. A whole day dedicated to celebrating my awesome dad. Yes, I may differ in opinion on some things with my family, but they're still my family.
I have amazing friends, and continue to make more. It's nice having friends I can go grab lunch with during the day.... and friends I can violently slaughter at night..... Ahem. If you don't know what I mean.... just don't worry about it. I talked with Allysa on Skype last night. I thank God for inspiring some individual to come up with that program. I talked with Lissa and her brother and sister. It was so much fun, and made me even more excited to see her next month. I was able to talk with Liz earlier this week, and that was SO fun! I also get to see her next month, and am excited beyond words.
My roommate just informed me that she is moving out this month, and although we have had some good times....umm...yeah.... I am very excited to make this place my own. New furniture, new roommate, new rules. A place that will finally feel like home. PARTY!!!!!! Haha.... no, seriously though, housewarming party in August anyone??? :)
I think sometimes we forget the good things because the bad, or mildly annoying or disappointing things are so much more dramatic. I used the line from the Darius Rucker song for my post title for a reason. I am grateful for things that have happened in the past. They may have sucked at the time, and sucky times may still come, but I have been, and will continue to be shaped by them. They make me ME! And I'm learning to love that!
Friday, June 10, 2011
No Regrets!
It's been too long since I wrote last! A lot has happened, yet at the same time, nothing at all. School is over, and I'm loving the summer so far :) Mostly, I just work. But I have done other things as well.
My music is coming along great! I wrote a new song a couple weeks ago... Just not sure what to do with it. It's not a song I can sing myself, so I need to find the right voice. I actually have another song in progress now, a song about music :) Hopefully it will turn out the way I'm hearing it in my head!
I have kept busy with work, and have developed a true love for my xbox! Call me a nerd, laugh at me, doesn't matter. I'm getting good at it (I have a great coach :P) and Xbox live is a blast! I have actually met some really cool people... well, not met.... but still!!!!! I wish I could meet some of them... but either way, it's fun. It gives me something to do during my free time, which is usually after 11 PM. Oh the times when one discovers a new hobby! Another fun little adventure: I was able to reconnect with an old friend from high school, and that has been AWESOME! He's a good friend when I need one :)
I went to Arizona this last weekend, and had a really good time. I spent some time with an old friend, and it was great to take a break from work. It didn't end quite the way I expected, and I lost a friendship. I've really been struggling with it this week, and with arguments that have occurred since then. I made some realizations today though. The loss of one friend has made me realize what I can do better with other, and future friends. I am who I am, and I want people in my life who accept me and love me for that.
I talked to Allysa about all this today. Oh how I love that girl. She helped me to realize that I don't people in my life who don't accept me. No matter where I go, I still have a past. And if someone can't deal with that, it's OK! I am going to live life in the moment. NO worrying about what others think. Man... this is going to be fun!
My music is coming along great! I wrote a new song a couple weeks ago... Just not sure what to do with it. It's not a song I can sing myself, so I need to find the right voice. I actually have another song in progress now, a song about music :) Hopefully it will turn out the way I'm hearing it in my head!
I have kept busy with work, and have developed a true love for my xbox! Call me a nerd, laugh at me, doesn't matter. I'm getting good at it (I have a great coach :P) and Xbox live is a blast! I have actually met some really cool people... well, not met.... but still!!!!! I wish I could meet some of them... but either way, it's fun. It gives me something to do during my free time, which is usually after 11 PM. Oh the times when one discovers a new hobby! Another fun little adventure: I was able to reconnect with an old friend from high school, and that has been AWESOME! He's a good friend when I need one :)
I went to Arizona this last weekend, and had a really good time. I spent some time with an old friend, and it was great to take a break from work. It didn't end quite the way I expected, and I lost a friendship. I've really been struggling with it this week, and with arguments that have occurred since then. I made some realizations today though. The loss of one friend has made me realize what I can do better with other, and future friends. I am who I am, and I want people in my life who accept me and love me for that.
I talked to Allysa about all this today. Oh how I love that girl. She helped me to realize that I don't people in my life who don't accept me. No matter where I go, I still have a past. And if someone can't deal with that, it's OK! I am going to live life in the moment. NO worrying about what others think. Man... this is going to be fun!
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