Life has been hectic the last month or so. I know, I always say that. But I have felt like all the emotions I could ever feel in a lifetime were crammed into September, October, and November. Blech. I have never laughed so much, cried so much, screamed so much, slept so much. But, with all the struggles that I have been through, my list of blessings is longer than ever.
I am so so so so very thankful for my family. My mom and dad are AMAZING. Our relationship isn't perfect. Far from, actually. But compared to where we were two or three Thanksgivings ago..... there's no comparison. I think the difference in where we are now is that we have all forgiven the past. There's nothing holding us back from moving forward. I can truly enjoy time with my sisters now. Morgan came home this last week, and I spent an evening with her, as well as Shane, and mom and dad. Even though we only chatted for a couple of hours, it was FUN. There wasn't any arguing, or tension... well, besides my frustration at trying to explain to Mom how to use her new iPhone. I love spending time with Morgan and Savannah, and of course, Brooklyn, Paris, and Liberty. We have had struggles in the past, most of the time pitting me against my family. Sometimes, I still feel like the odd one out, but that's because I'm a redhead, a braniac.... thus better looking AND better thinking. HA!
(Old Family Photo- Still My Favorite)
Another Old Photo- But With A Lot Of My 'Peeps' |
I used to put a lot of stock in friendships. At times, I stupidly gave up my time, goals, etc... to the wrong friends. I have come to learn that 'Friends for Life' are VERY rare, and hardly apply to the people you meet in high school, or later in life. I've had a lot of bad friends. They weren't bad people, but I wasn't a good person when I was around them.... But I don't mean to be negative. I just mean to say that I am grateful that I have...no...AM.... learning the value of friendship, and the value of a GOOD friend. I am learning to let go. I am happy to see so many of my friends getting married, having kids, and so on. It's crazy to think that Lexi B's engaged, that Shailey's a mom. They are paving paths that I will travel down some day. They are living their lives, and I am living mine.
Still in the friendship mode, I have to insert a special note for a special someone... or some people. In the past month or so, Allysa has been more of a Savior than ever. I love her with all of my heart, and I am so happy that she is finally finding the happiness she deserves. I hope her man with treat her like the queen she is. I miss her so much, but I think it makes the times we see each other even more special.
I made a decision back in July that changed my life more than I ever thought it would. Sometimes I have regretted it, sometimes I have hated myself for making the choice.... I'm just being honest. But now, I realize that in helping a friend, I was helping myself. Hanna has become like a sister to me. And, just as I do with my other sisters, I sometimes want to strangle her. But lately, she has been there when no one else was around. We have both had road bumps and obstacles in the last couple of months. I don't think I could have gotten through them without her. I have felt loss, really painful loss, and Hanna has been the only person who has known what to say, and how to help. I love her dearly, and even in the hard times, I can't regret that long drive down to Cedar City in July. Of course.... living with Hanna meant getting to know her boyfriend Robin, yet another blessing. Robin keeps us both sane. I have never met such a good guy. If Hanna's my sister, Robin's my brother. Being one of six girls... brother is a foreign word to me. But that's what he is. He has helped me through so much as well. The three of us are always doing something... whether it's taking someone to Trax, going to the Gateway, going grocery shopping (always a disaster), or just sitting around good ol' Apartment 9-V, talking. The two of them are perfect for each other, and they're perfect for me.
The Three Amigos |
Right now, I'm happy with life. I have a good job, a great family, wonderful friends. I am getting to be where I want to be. I'm losing weight, I'm going to be starting school soon, I have a roommate I actually like.... yep. Life is good. I think the best part is that I'm not living life worrying about what my friends, or my family thinks. I am taking the steps to live a life that I can be truly happy with. Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I love you so much, you are my everything.
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