Truly Great Friends Are Hard To Find, Difficult To Leave, and Impossible To Forget

I have friends all over the place. I have friends in Orem, UT, in Cheyenne, WY, in San Francisco, CA. Heck, even in Munich, Germany. They are good friends. Truly amazing friends. And I love them with all of my heart. But honestly, it's difficult having them all so far away. I miss Liz every day, and I cherish the times we can text, talk on the phone, or on Xbox Live (hehe). It is very difficult to not have physical contact with someone who understands me so well. Brecken, my dearest friend from high school, is in Orem, and though that is closer than California, I never seem to have enough time to run down there for a visit. As I said, long distance best-friendships are hard.

I have been so lucky to have two amazing friends here around me. I see Kara at work, and I am always astounded at how easy it is to talk to her. She knows everything about me, nothing barred. She accepts me for all of my imperfections. She can make me laugh no matter what, and we've cried together too. And you want to know the worst part of our friendship? She's moving in a month. I'm losing yet another friend to the sunny beaches of California. I want her to be happy, but I want to be selfish too. I want to still be able to see her smiling face. Talking to her in person is so different than talking on the phone. Thank goodness for Tahoe!!

Shailey.... oh Shailey. She is the peanut butter to my jelly, the apple to my pie, the straw to my berry. I would be totally and completely in the devils fiery place without her. Shailey has seen me at my worst, and my best. We have so many inside jokes it's ridiculous. We're closer than ever because we know what it's been like to hate each other. That is not a nice feeling. Shailey can always make me laugh, and I usually won't stop laughing for a while. We can just look at each other and start giggling.... maybe that's because I'm funny looking though.... I don't know. I love spending time with her, and seeing her love grow for the baby she's carrying. It's so dang cute!!!! I would totally cry for days if she were to leave too... it sounds pathetic, but it's true.

People ask me why I have the friends I have... as they are .... unique. Why do I choose to spend more time talking to my friends in Cali rather than chatting up kids in class. Here's my answer. When you go through deep intense struggles with someone, your relationship with that person changes. Liz, Tayler, Kara, Shailey, Lucky, Brecken, Joy.... I've been through so much with all of them. Liz, Shailey, and Kara especially. I couldn't just talk to a kid in class about my struggles with my self-esteem, or other things. I couldn't talk about addictions that I'm fighting to break. These girls understand where I'm coming from, because they've been there too.

Another reason? I love feeling wanted, feeling needed. If I can help my friends in any way, I will. I've always been that way. I have given time, money, and sleep over to my friends, and I don't regret any of it. Well... the choice to spend all of my savings during my Junior year was kind of stupid, I'll admit. I like feeling useful. And with all of my issues, I find it difficult to feel needed by people who have their lives in order. I'm not saying that my friends don't have their lives in order, but they have struggles. We can talk on such a deeper level.

Anyways, I just want my friends out there to know that I love them. I'm always thinking about you guys, and wondering how you're doing and if you need anything. I want to be there for you just as much as you've been there for me, if not more. And day or night, no matter what, I'm here if you need me. Love you all!!!!!